Lisa Johnson
lisa@emberswift.com
"Merch Urchin" and "Office Guru": Communications / Promo and Publicity / Web and Database Maintenance / Administration / ETC!

You undoubtedly know the name Lisa Johnson, whether you've read her in the pages of Popular Mechanics, seen her on the big screen in such critically acclaimed supporting roles as Maya the disillusioned quadruped in All Things Four-Legged, or heard her on the mainstream radio airwaves contributing her waxed-paper-on-a-comb talents to hit songs such as "Beautiful Stick-bug Girl" by Fabiennne.

Johnson's story begins on the page. That was two pages ago, so if you haven't read it, here's a re-cap: Johnson's story begins on the page - metaphorically speaking, of course (not this page). Having written the best-selling mishmash book, Refreshments for Imaginary Friends, and critically unacclaimed fiction such as Mediumdubbledubble and Naysayers' Hellfire, Johnson decided to branch out into other realms. She dove into the world of music journalism (sans noseplug) and has never looked back, except to see if they're gaining on her.

For the first couple of years, Johnson toured the world with rock stars on the fringe, documenting their rock star antics. She grew tired of the road, however, and all of the gratuitous sex-having, so she decided to settle down into a life of CD and concert reviewing. But her favourite new scheme was interviewing. Her own pithy answers to her mundane questions wore thin before long, so she tried interviewing others. Johnson built a name for herself through interviews with the likes of Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, and Mama Cass. But Johnson decided that, for the sake of her sanity, she would take refuge in the independent world; she was becoming weary of the limelight, being that she and her trademark big hair were unable to walk into clubs without being recognized or set afire.

Hiding out in the underground annals of Imprint Newspaper, Johnson disguised her immense talent (and thereby herself) by pretending to be a green journalist in her first year of university. As the nine years flew by, she wrote more and more, interviewed more and more, revelled in the free CDs and concerts, and became known in the Toronto indie music scene.

Soon a Web project in its infancy beckoned. Her talents were needed, and Johnson single-handedly (in her mind) launched the internationally successful IndieVoice.com. Of course, the site manager may have had something to do with it C she was the one with low enough standards to bring Johnson on board. Week by week, month by month, Johnson got more embroiled in the indie scene. She now calls some of the musicians friend. And some of the musicians now call her fanatic.

Johnson's photography skills have also improved over time (she now knows how to remove the annoying obscuring-thumb from pictures). Johnson was esteemed for her "People. Sleeping. Shhhh." exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario, and her photo essay, "A Day in the Life of the Cutest-dog-you've-ever-seen," won her accolades and was published in Maclean's six times consecutively. Johnson's photos of indie artists can be seen on the Web sites and in the press kits of various performers, including The Quadratic Letitres, Slaphugger, Lori-Faye Marie Trolup-Bubblegrennigan, and German band Kauenspielzeug.

Lisa Johnson is best known for her exacting (read: anal-retentive) editing skills. Known in some circles as "the dictionary thumper," in other circles as "the grammar nazi," in yet other circles as "the chick with the hair," and still other circles simply as "Stinkbutt," Johnson knows how to grammar it up. She has been known to edit the dictionary nightly before bed, and is often called upon for her keen eye. In 2001, Johnson edited a whole series of those little stickers found on bananas.

Now that she has conquered the literary world, the journalism world, the photography world, and the editing world; tried skydiving, bungee jumping, extreme bowling, hang gliding, draft dodging, and championship Pac-Man; is a Yo-yo master, cooking ingenue, pro wrestler, marathon winner, and WNBA all-star, Johnson hopes to move on to bigger and better things:

"I'd like to be Britney Spears's publicist," she says, with a glint of hope in her eye.